Sharing The Real You VS. Being Negative
There is a very clear line between being real and being negative. Being real is based in truth. Being negative is based on choice. I would like to request that you share your thoughts and experiences with negativity vs. realness in your relationships and yourself. Thank you and enjoy this forum!
You Are Making A Difference Right Now
If you feel like you aren't doing enough to make the world a better place maybe you just aren't seeing what you are doing.Try this: Take a sheet of paper and write "Who I am serving" at the top. Then, begin to list off the people and animals whose lives you are making better as well as the causes you support.
For instance, I have my husband on the list. I also have two friends that I am supporting through phone calls and mailings while they are experiencing difficult times. A dear friend has her dogs on her list (they have a great lives with her). She also serves the world as an avid recycler and by being a well informed voter regarding environmental issues.
Remember, your actions don't have to be big to count; making one person's life better is incredibly important. And, you aren't helping anyone by denying the differences you are making.
I know that you are helping others. So who are those lucky people anyway?
Boundaries
Personal boundaries are something that most of us have trouble with. For example, when someone asks is to get together we may either say "Yes" or "Sure, let's do that sometime," when inside we are screaming "No!" And, by doing so, we put ourselves in a place of feeling used, angry at that person, and/or out of control. Moreover, inside we know that we are being inauthentic.
And can you see when you read the above that by not saying "No" we are the ones that are truly creating the problem? It is totally acceptable for people to ask us to get together or do things with/for them. We need to own that we are responsible for our answers and our feelings.
With this awareness starting to practice saying "No" becomes a bit easier, although, it can still be challenging if it is a new practice. It may feel uncomfortable at first but, the more you do it the more natural it becomes.
And what are the benefits of saying "No?" For yourself: you become more authentic in your relationships. You put your energy towards what you really want. You become a happier person and a better friend. You have more joy. Etc. For others: they stop being the recipient of unnecessary frustration. They learn how to treat you in a way that feels good to you. They receive the true you. Etc.
Start today by saying "No" once a day this week. You can even create a scenario such as when the grocer asks you if you want a paper bag, or your receipt, just say "No" to whatever their question is. Practice does make perfect and small steps lead to bigger steps.
Kerri Yates
Life Coaching
www.Eudokeo.com
