Personal boundaries are something that most of us have trouble with. For example, when someone asks is to get together we may either say "Yes" or "Sure, let's do that sometime," when inside we are screaming "No!" And, by doing so, we put ourselves in a place of feeling used, angry at that person, and/or out of control. Moreover, inside we know that we are being inauthentic.
And can you see when you read the above that by not saying "No" we are the ones that are truly creating the problem? It is totally acceptable for people to ask us to get together or do things with/for them. We need to own that we are responsible for our answers and our feelings.
With this awareness starting to practice saying "No" becomes a bit easier, although, it can still be challenging if it is a new practice. It may feel uncomfortable at first but, the more you do it the more natural it becomes.
And what are the benefits of saying "No?" For yourself: you become more authentic in your relationships. You put your energy towards what you really want. You become a happier person and a better friend. You have more joy. Etc. For others: they stop being the recipient of unnecessary frustration. They learn how to treat you in a way that feels good to you. They receive the true you. Etc.
Start today by saying "No" once a day this week. You can even create a scenario such as when the grocer asks you if you want a paper bag, or your receipt, just say "No" to whatever their question is. Practice does make perfect and small steps lead to bigger steps.
Kerri Yates
Life Coaching
www.Eudokeo.com
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